Friday, January 28, 2011

On Moving

Last weekend was the big move.  Although our landlord was good to us at that old place, when I drove away for the final time I didn't even think to give the place a final glance.  Our new place has more space than I feel like we deserve.  It's been almost a full week, and I have some thoughts about moving in general.

First, while we were so blessed by all the help we had, I am never more embarrassed than when we move.  I'm embarrassed by the amount of stuff we have.  I'm embarrassed that things are never 100% organized for the actual move.  And I'm always super embarrassed by the state of my house.  It may shock you all that I am a mediocre housekeeper at best.  So as people stripped away our belongings, all that was left were piles of dust around where the furniture used to be, dirty windows and dirty bathrooms.  Again, I was grateful for all the help, but mortified that I needed so much of it.

Second, during our last two moves I've had a hard time not being depressed about the fact that we will move again.  Probably in two or three years.  I feel bad asking so many people to help us, knowing that we're going to need just as much help in the not-too-distant future.  If we had bought our own place maybe the move would feel a little more permanent.  But my husband and I have a goal to be out of debt before we take on the debt of a mortgage, and according to our calculations that will happen in about three years.  So while it's satisfying to get the job of the move done, I have to constantly tell myself to not think about the next one.  I try to pretend I'm a military wife, who is used to moving all the time.  At our last place I put off putting some things on the walls and truly settling in because I knew we were going to move again.  I'm not going to do that this time.  Yes, we will move.  But I can make this a good home for us for however long we're here.  Who cares if I take something out and put it on the walls, only to take it down again in a few years?  We will enjoy it today.

And finally, I've gotten quite a bit of purging done with this move.  And it feels good.  I can't even remember what I've already given away, which tells me that I should have gotten rid of it long long ago.  And as I'm unpacking I'm still finding things that we can live without.  I'm trying to not go to the other extreme, though.  Part of me wonders why we even have a basement that is not packed to the gills but still has a good amount of stuff in it.  Does anyone really need extra space like that?  If I have something that I want to put in the basement, should I just give it away?  It's a hard call.

I still have quite a bit of settling in to do, but I'm prepared to relax and let that come as it comes.  This space already feels so good to us.  The months ahead seem as bright as the sunshine coming in through my kitchen windows.

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